THIS MAKES ME MISS IT SOOO MUCHHH 

all I’ve been thinking about is how much I want to go back.

ps-ohmyeffing. jetlag. aldfkgj 

It’s really odd how you appreciate everything when you realize you won’t have it anymore.  People always say that you should live like it’s your last day, treat your loved ones like you’ll never see them again, etc.  It’s so difficult to do on a regular basis. 

I’ve spent two months in Kenya and it’s all flown by so quickly!  I’m leaving in a few hours and looking back, I’m sad to say there are some days that I don’t really remember. 

As I was riding through the streets of the slums, saying goodbye to people I’ve grown close to, staring at the sky, taking in all the foul and polluted air, marveling at the Africa trees, and listening to all the crazy talk that takes place in Nairobi, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of everything and everyone here. 

Cried so much and I’m so effing exhausted, but wouldn’t it be amazing if we could value every day like it’s our last?

(Ninatoka Kenya, mang.)

-Super cute babies and their little hats! I don’t think I will ever love other babies like I love them here.

-The difficulty of having to bargain as a foreigner.
-Tuskers! Watered down, but somehow endearingly tasty African beer.
-THE SKY (is breathtakingly beautiful).

-Beautiful smiles!  Sorries, not everyone’s are beautiful back at home… just kidding (:
-Oddly enough, the smell.  Pollution, burning trash, and roasting corn.
-Easy conversations about everything under the sun, with random people anywhere and everywhere.
-Everyone actually caring enough about their communities and country to stay informed and have an opinion on everything.
-Radio shows that invite listeners to call in about important issues like spouses growing fat and becoming unattractive.
-THE TEA IS SO GOOD.  Tea time is like all the time.  ALL THE TIME. 

-Bumpy roads that are kind of like free massages/Indiana Jones rides, but give you bruises and motion sickness
-Delicious and super juicy mangoes and avocados that are about 7 cents each!
-“Poli, poli, poli!”  Everyone and their mom always saying “oh, sorry!” every time anything happens.  Examples: I sneeze, I trip, I make a face because an orange is sour
-Those panicked moments when I’m one of 20 full grown adults squeezed into a matatu and my claustrophobia makes me an insane foreigner who repeats under her breath, “Oh my effing, I’m going to die. Die die die. Oh my effing.”
-80s music, Celine Dion, and super gangsta rap playing everywhere
-Cows, goats, sheep, donkeys, chickens, and all of their poop everywhere you go
-How picking your boogers mid-intense-conversation, belching as loudly as you can, and obnoxiously pointing at people are all a-okay!
-Everyone giving you the wrong directions all the time.
-Having to pee in a hole and then realizing that you forgot to bring toilet paper with you
-Being forced to be away from technology
-Calloused feet that resemble that of elephants
-Mexican soap operas on TV every night that are dubbed terribly. Funniest and most enjoyable trashy entertainment evarrr
-Running through crazy rain that comes and goes randomly
-Being Chinese
-Getting exercise from doing laundry
-Randoms asking you to marry them and have their babies
-Stepping into fire ants and getting owned like I never knew was possible
-Checking my email and getting excited to hear from friends
-Never really knowing what will happen the next day
-Doing stupid/weird things and getting away with it

AHH too many.

Kenyan time/This is Africa has been KEELING ME.  I like to plan and have things go according to plan.  Kenyans…do not plan.  June/July pages in my crazy book are layered with post-its because I’ve had to alter the days I’ve attempted to plan a bajillion times.  But I think I’m starting to just learn to just chill.

The past weekend, I went to Val’s village (which was wonderful!  I’ll have to update on everywhere I’ve been later…) which was 4 hours away.  We both needed to get back to the city by 3pm on Sunday because she needed to catch the KU bus and I needed to meet a friend to buy things and go to an orphanage.  We planned to leave at 10:30am with some of Val’s friends.  So Sunday morning comes and homeboys come to pick us up three hours late. Oh my effing.  We’re finally on our way, when 10 minutes in, they stop and say they’re going to rest and eat lunch for an hour.  My reaction: “………………….are you for real?”

Val and I decide to hitchhike!  We attempt to stop a few cars for 5 minutes or so and a group of old men are nice enough to agree to take us to Nairobi.  We have a really pleasant ride with them.  One of them looks like Morgan Freeman (BAD. ASS.) and he drives kind of like a maniac.  But they’re all really nice.  We talk about America, Kenyan driving, and how I’m Korean…not Mexican.

Because we get to Nairobi so late, I was able to meet with my friend and purchase a few things, but we didn’t have time to go to the orphanage. We decided we’d have to go the next day.  At this point, I’m stressing like a mad woman because 1) it’s 9:30pm and it isn’t safe to be a woman wandering the streets with a bunch of supermarket bags alone, 2) I was supposed to meet friends for dinner but I had to cancel because of the time, and 3) the next day is my last day in Kenya and I already have so much to do!

I end up having to take a cab the next morning because there’s just no way I can get around everywhere via matatu and get everything done.  All the friends I’m supposed to be seeing to say goodbye are running late and I’m thinking, “Okay, Africa.  I need to go home where people aren’t hours late all the time.”  But miraculously, I ended up being able to say goodbye to everyone, visit the orphanage, go to the city and see more people, make my appointment, and remain sane. And you know, maybe it worked out better in the long run because Joseph, the cab driver was really moved by what he saw at the orphanage and he wants to make sure he goes back to volunteer.

IN SHORT, plans don’t work out and worrying only stresses me out even more.  Things will happen the way they will happen, even if they don’t the way I hope.  But you know, most of the time, everything ends up being okay.  And since I’ve been here, all ends up actually being better than I plan.  So I’m going to freak out less, improvise more.

Sawa sawa? Sawa sawa.

It’s kind of crazy that Kenya is developing so quickly, but the lives of women are still so terrible and difficult.  Kenyans say that “men marry, but women get married.”

Read More

Isn’t is strange when you love something so much that you actually ache for it?  You start to realize why all the poets and crazies always talk about their hearts.

Honestly, I came to Kenya not knowing what to expect.  I think really, I came just for my own selfish reasons.  I was burnt out, depressed, and discouraged.  I needed to go somewhere and see good things, beautiful people, some sign of hope. And Kenya has given me all of that (more on that later- I’m so behind on posting!).

But I didn’t expect to grow such an overwhelming heart for this land and its people.  Things just tug at my heart and make me want to laugh and cry at the same time.  I don’t think I’ve ever loved a place so much in my life.  You know when you hug someone really tight and it’s like they know everything that you’re feeling but can’t put into words?  Yes, Kenya and I have this deep and amazing love connection.

I only have a few days left and I’m already heartbroken, missing it so much.
Tutaonana tena!
Yikes, I’m a mess.

It’s always nice to be traveling by myself, getting lost, asking randoms for directions, and getting even more lost.  Not gonna lie, when I’m the only foreigner walking through bumpy dirt roads with broken glass and trash, odd food stands, and crazy Kenya traffic, I feel like a badass. 

My favorite thing evarrrr is when I come across really kind strangers.
Yesterday, I was trying to get on the 46 towards YaYa Center, but I wasn’t sure which direction that was.  I saw a matatu with a 46 so I went to the guy and asked if I could pay 30 bop to go YaYa.  He says yes and grabs my hand to pull me in.  Some other guy grabs my arm and pulls me away.  I’m like “WHAT THE FUCK” (which is no bueno because cussing is …forbidden) and homeboy says, “He’s trying to rip you off!  You have to go in the other direction!”
So super nice (but unfortunately not very attractive) man walks me across this crazy street that I would have died on if I had to cross alone and then negotiates with the driver of the real 46 going to YaYa to get me a fair price.  We then hug and say “Kwaheri!”

Will I ever see him again?  Probably not.
But he made my day and reminded me that there are some really good people wherever you go.  Dear awesome nice man, thank you.  I would be lost somewhere in the middle of nowhere right now if it weren’t for you.

One of the best days I’ve had since I’ve been here!
Went into Kalimanjari, one of the slum areas in Nairobi to help out with my friend’s non-profit.  They were having Kid’s Community Day, to teach them about sanitation and hygiene.  We taught them how to use soap, played with water balloons, and had a slip and slide going.  The best part is they left jumping and yelling at the top of their lungs, “WASH YOUR HANDS SO YOU KILL GERMS AND DON’T GET SICK!”

I can’t even begin to explain how much I love these kids.

My last two weeks in Kenya.  What?! NOOOOOOO.

I’m moving from the university housing to a hostel in the city today.  Originally, I had planned on spending my last two weeks in a rural area to volunteer with a nursery and women’s finance groups.  But I just can’t bear to leave everyone I’ve met in Nairobi. 

So instead I’ll be…
-Visiting the IDP camp again, to say hello to the super amazing children there and sponsor my friend Mary so that she can go back to school!
-Volunteering one day with children’s events at a slum in Nairobi to teach them sanitation and environmentally friendly things
-Going back to Korogocho one last time to say goodbye and drop off some medical supplies for their clinic and soccer balls that my group helped purchase
-Dropping by a few of the orphanages that we spent time at and bringing them food/school supplies…and perhaps adopting 5 of them, you know.
-Staying at a rescue center for street children to help out a little bit, although the only thing I can really offer is cleaning and cooking…education is so useless, mang.
-Traveling to Val’s village in the Rift Valley and meeting her family!
-Learn more Swahili than “Jambo! Jina langue ni Emily.  Habari? Nzuri. Ninatoka California!…Hapana Kiswahili…..Lalasalama!” <-every lame conversation I attempt
-Saying goodbye ): and drinking Tuskers (really, really, really bad but good African beer) on my last night!

The reason I share all this is to
1) keep you updated (duh),
2)give you a better idea of what I’m doing when I post about these things.  (I’m going to try to write about errrthanggg), and
3)TO SHOW YOU THAT YOUR DONATIONS ARE REALLY HELPING PEOPLE HERE.
Unfortunately, I’m kind of useless, and the most helpful thing I can do here is to donate things that these places really need.  There’s no way I could afford to purchase any of these things or pay for Mary’s schooling without your oh so generous donations.  Thank you again from the bottom of my heart, beautiful people! (:

All my plans are kind of up in the air right now because…people don’t plan here.  If you’ve ever seen my crazy book, you know that I like to know what I’m doing every hour of the day.  Needless to say, I’m stressing.  But I’m slowly learning to be flexible and attempting to tame my super Korean impatience.  As locals say, “TIA-This is Africa.”  Gots to love it.